Another Day, Another Doctor

Sooooooo, we are really getting our money's worth out of Blue Cross/Blue Shield! In the last two weeks, we have seen our pediatrician, an occupational therapist, a speech pathologist, a radiologist, and a pediatric GI trying to figure out why our Nicole Richie baby will not eat or gain weight! And, we are no closer to a solution. I'm learning that medicine truly is an art and not a science. There is no mathematical formula to plug in Ellie's symptoms to produce a diagnosis. It's just so frustrating for me because I want her to thrive. Oh, do you think we are finished with visiting every medical professional? NOPE! Ellie has a hemangioma next to her right eye. So, we are meeting with a pediatric opthomologist on Wednesday and a pediatric plastic surgeon next week. I try to stay positive by thinking how blessed we truly are! When we were at the pediatric GI, there was a 9 day old baby there. And, when we go for our weigh ins at the pediatricians, there is a baby with tubes running from her into her mom's bookbag. A friend of mine from high school has a son with stage four high risk neuroblastoma. Thinking about these babies really puts things into perspective for me.
For the record, I am TRYING to breast feed Ellie. Unfortunately, since she isn't gaining weight, I have to pump into a bottle and feed Ellie that way. Plus, we have to mix a half a teaspoon of formula into the milk, to increase her caloric intake. At first, I gave Ellie breast milk because I felt this overwhelming desire to do it. Everyone kept saying "Breast is Best" while I was pregnant; I believe I became brainwashed. I am aware that Ellie is getting benefits from the breast milk, but the extra step of pumping is really exhausting. So, I find myself thinking, "Is formula REALLY rat poison??? Will Ellie still be President of the United States if I ONLY give her formula????"