But, She's Got A Great Personality

People often ask, "Does Ellie sleep through the night?" The answer: YES! Well, she wakes up every three hours to eat. Artie and I don't mind feeding her in the middle of the night, since we are so desperate to get her to gain weight.
But, the thing that amazes us is that she has such a strong personality! People say, "Oh, when she hits three months, that is when the personality really comes out!" So, I thought I would post some of the ways Ellie's personality is shining through!
1. When Ellie is done eating, she locks her lips together and won't let the bottle in her mouth. She has done this since birth. Artie says she gets her stubbornness from her mother. Whatever.
2. If you make kissing noises to her, she will get a big goofy grin on her face.
3. She has so many things to say! She'll tell us something, so we respond. Sometimes, she'll make a face at us after she hears what we have to say. I'm sure she's said something like, "I'm tired of mommy changing my outfits all day long. I'm not your personal Barbie doll, woman!" When we say, "Oh, yes Ellie. You are right!" I'm sure she thinks----"Well, that was easy enough!"
4. She is not a fan of having socks on her feet or a blanket on her. We tried swaddling her, but she would get very squirmy. As for the socks, when we manage to get her feet in them, she will kick them off in seconds. In fact, the white thing you see in this picture is her sock about to go flying from her foot.
5. She LOVES cuddling. In fact, when she gets fussy (which isn't all the time), we lie with her on the couch or in bed. She could sleep for hours; we could watch her for hours! She makes the cutest facial expressions when she sleeps.
6. When you pick her up after she's been sleeping, she stays tight in a ball as you put her up to you.
7. She LOVES to stretch (which could be why she hates being swaddled). She makes the funniest faces when she stretches, too. She'll raise her eyebrows and purse her lips together.
8. She has a passion for leather. She enjoys lying on the couch. And, she can stare at the back of the couch for HOURS. She will giggle at it, too. Which freaks Mommy OUT!
9. She will smile and giggle at nothing. I'm convinced that her Guardian Angels are entertaining her at those times.
10. She hates having a wet diaper. If she has a #2, she would sit in it for hours----no problem. But, if she tinkles, you better change that diaper right away.

Overall, we are so lucky to have such a happy baby! I can't wait until she gets older and more of her personality becomes apparent.

Another Day, Another Doctor

Sooooooo, we are really getting our money's worth out of Blue Cross/Blue Shield! In the last two weeks, we have seen our pediatrician, an occupational therapist, a speech pathologist, a radiologist, and a pediatric GI trying to figure out why our Nicole Richie baby will not eat or gain weight! And, we are no closer to a solution. I'm learning that medicine truly is an art and not a science. There is no mathematical formula to plug in Ellie's symptoms to produce a diagnosis. It's just so frustrating for me because I want her to thrive. Oh, do you think we are finished with visiting every medical professional? NOPE! Ellie has a hemangioma next to her right eye. So, we are meeting with a pediatric opthomologist on Wednesday and a pediatric plastic surgeon next week. I try to stay positive by thinking how blessed we truly are! When we were at the pediatric GI, there was a 9 day old baby there. And, when we go for our weigh ins at the pediatricians, there is a baby with tubes running from her into her mom's bookbag. A friend of mine from high school has a son with stage four high risk neuroblastoma. Thinking about these babies really puts things into perspective for me.
For the record, I am TRYING to breast feed Ellie. Unfortunately, since she isn't gaining weight, I have to pump into a bottle and feed Ellie that way. Plus, we have to mix a half a teaspoon of formula into the milk, to increase her caloric intake. At first, I gave Ellie breast milk because I felt this overwhelming desire to do it. Everyone kept saying "Breast is Best" while I was pregnant; I believe I became brainwashed. I am aware that Ellie is getting benefits from the breast milk, but the extra step of pumping is really exhausting. So, I find myself thinking, "Is formula REALLY rat poison??? Will Ellie still be President of the United States if I ONLY give her formula????"

Maternity Clothes and Time. . .

Tonight, I packed away my maternity clothes. In a way, it was nice getting rid of the shirts that looked like I could had a small army under it. But, in another way, it made me sad. It reminded me that time really does fly. When we found out we were pregnant and told my folks, my mom took me shopping for my first maternity pieces. That feels like it was last week, even though it was last July. I know for some women, they hate being pregnant. Hate watching their bellies grow. Miss seeing their feet. Detest wearing tents for clothes. But, I loved everything about it (well, the bed rest in the last month was painful, but I digress). I loved knowing that my body was protecting this tiny miracle. And, when you think about conception. . .pregnancy really is a miracle.
My mom took me out shopping for some transition pieces (working my way back into regular clothes). I didn't want to continue wearing my maternity clothes, for fear of someone asking when I was due! But, wouldn't you know it, everything in the stores look just like maternity clothes! Who knew it was so chic to look pregnant?!?!
I also put away a couple of Ellie's newborn outfits, since she is growing (lengthwise) out of them. Once again, I cried.
Sometimes, I think of all the things I need to do (laundry, file papers, straighten house, etc.) when Ellie is having her "I want to be held" moments. I have to remind myself that one day, she will want to pretend she doesn't even have a mother! Motherhood is making me slow down and appreciate the small things in life. Like, when Ellie makes funny faces when she sleeps. Or, when we have tummy time and she gives me a huge smile.

March 2008

Ellie is not gaining weight. I feel bad saying this because she entered the world weighing over 10lbs and looks very healthy, but it is a cause of concern. The doctor wants to measure all that she intakes, so I have to pump and document how much she eats and how many wet/dirty diapers she has. When I google how breastfeeding moms know how much their babies are eating, experts say it depends on their output. Well, Ellie is doing just fine in that department! We were fortunate to receive boxes of diapers as shower gifts; we are flying through them! But, I have to take her to the pediatrician every two days for another weigh in. And, she keeps losing weight. It's distressing. A friend of mine is an anatomy professor (thank goodness, since he was my "phone a friend" whenever I had pregnancy questions). He said that Ellie was born with lots of brown fat and was fine. That was very reassuring, since the pediatrician's office was more concerned about it.
We have started calling Ellie "Nicole Richie", since she isn't eating and cries whenever she gets on the scale. Well, she also started vomiting after eating. Not spitting up. Projectile vomiting. Artie fed Ellie and she vomited 2 feet and nailed me (at about 2 in the morning----what everyone wants to deal with at 2am!) So, when we told the doctor this, she thought maybe Ellie had pyloric stenosis, so we had to go to Children's Hospital for an ultrasound. Turns out, she didn't have it. I feel bad saying this, but I almost wished she did. Then, we could do a little surgery and Ellie would be better. Unfortunately, we are still trying to learn why Ellie isn't eating.
This month was Ellie's first holiday---Easter. Mimi and Oppa came to town to celebrate. We took Ellie out to her first restaurant (IHOP). Words cannot describe how much I love IHOP. In fact, it was the last place I ate before I had Ellie! (Sidenote: I had to fast from midnight until after 1pm when I had Ellie. I'm not one to complain or anything, but that was harder than childbirth!) Anyways, I LOVE it when Mimi and Oppa come to town----they totally take over with Ellie. Artie and I catch up on our sleep and just relax.
At the end of the month, Ellie had even more spoiling! Auntie Amy and Uncle Sandy came to visit so Aim and I could see "Avenue Q" (HYSTERICAL!). Auntie Amy also took over for us, since she is a pro at babies. Uncle Sandy and Artie babysat for Ellie while we were at the play. They looked like an "alternative lifestyle" couple (not that there is anything wrong with that), but Ellie survived "My Two Dads". Ha ha!!! I know Ellie was sad to see them go, as were we, since it reminded me of the fact that my best friend lives far away from me. :(

February 2008

We brought Ellie home on Sunday with no instruction book. BUT, we did get something better----Mimi (my mom) stayed with us for the week. It was so great to have someone who knew how to bathe a baby in the kitchen sink. . . wasn't exhausted from childbirth. . . could ask intelligent questions of the pediatrician, etc. I HIGHLY recommend having your mom stay with you if you are giving birth in the future. Oppa (my dad) even stayed a couple of extra days (something about him not being able to stay away from Ellie). I must confess that when my parents pulled out of the driveway, I stood on the front porch holding Ellie and bawling my eyes out. How was I supposed to function as a mom all by myself? I thought about how my mom lived in Hawaii when I was born (thousands of miles from her mom) and was by herself with me a week after I appeared (daddy had Army stuff to do). But, she survived as a new mom and I did too!

Artie and I learned that we need to stay one step ahead of Ellie at all times. We learned her sign that she was hungry (starts gnawing on her hands), her facial expression when she makes a dirty diaper, and how she will cry very hard if her diaper is even slightly wet. We got Ellie on a routine (asleep at midnight, up at 3 to eat, up at 6 to eat again and start the day). Mommy and Daddy learned (kicking and screaming along the way) how to survive on a couple of hours of sleep.

Delivery Day

We checked into the hospital at 11am on Feb. 20th. The two hours before the c-section flew by. I felt sad to know that I had protected her for 9 months and now I would have to share her with the rest of the world. But, I knew that everyone else was excited about meeting her.
After three epidurals, I was strapped to the operating table. Artie came in dressed in a head to toe surgical outfit! The operating room was very relaxed---music was playing. . . the doctors were joking with each other. Then, my OB said "I've got a foot." At 1:36pm, the OB lifted Flash over the curtain so I could see her. My first words "God, she is huge!" Artie went to cut the cord and take a million pictures of her. Unfortunately, Flash had low blood sugar, so they had to give her formula immediately. All this occurred while I was getting stitched up. When I was finally moved to the recovery room, I had to pry her from everyone else just so I could hold her! On the way to the hospital, we finally agreed on Flash's name. We thought about Ansley Grace, Grace Elizabeth and Elizabeth Grace. We always liked Ellie as a nickname, so we decided Elizabeth Grace.
Ellie's first days on earth went by in such a blur. I remember she had jaundice and wasn't eating well. I was exhausted and wasn't eating well. Like my doctor said, "A hospital is no place for sick people!" We came home on Sunday and the real fun began!

Third Trimester

The third trimester included attending wonderful baby showers and doing last minute obsessing. It also included preeclampsia and being on bed rest for a month before Flash was born!
I went to the doctor's office the first Friday in February. My BP was through the roof, my protein in my urine was high and I was swollen like a giant marshmallow! The doctor admitted me to the hospital and said that there was a strong chance that they would have to get Flash that night, if I couldn't get the BP down. I had a fantastic nurse who got the BP down, so the doctor sent me home on strict bedrest. My folks came into town to help us get the house and nursery ready for Flash. I felt so lazy lying on the couch counting kicks while my parents did my nesting for me, but they assured me that they were happy to help.
A week later, I had an ultrasound to make sure everything was alright with Flash. Imagine my surprise that Flash was breech and weighed approximately 9 pounds (and I had two weeks left before delivery)! A week later, Flash was up to 10 lbs and was about 21 inches long. The doctor said that we needed to schedule Flash's birthday---she was going to be born via c-section. Nothing is more bizarre than selecting your daughter's birthday!